Hips
by Caddie
Summary: A girl will do anything to confirm that she is beautiful, even if it means putting a male friend in a dress. LeonCloud featuring somewhat stalkerish!Leon and EasilyManipulatedByGirls!Cloud


Title: Hips

Pairings: One-sided Leon/Cloud and playful poking at the Cloud/Yuffie pairing

Summary: A girl will do anything to confirm that she is beautiful, even if it means putting a male friend in a dress. Leon/Cloud featuring somewhat stalker-ish!Leon and EasilyManipulatedByGirls!Cloud

Warnings: PG, for mentions of brief nudity, mentions of the cross dressing scene in FFVII, an alternate universe fic because Cloud does not have his wing and he is with Leon, Aerith, and Yuffie in Traverse Town. Cid doesn't make an appearance, sorry.

Side note: Trying on wedding gowns is tedious, but watching being put on is amusing, especially when the bride, my sister, won't shut up about how fat she looks which is totally untrue.

Disclaimer: I'm not making any money off the borrowing of KH and KHII characters.

Chapter one out of one: Hips

It was the gleam in Yuffie's eyes that caused Cloud to back away slowly. That look was never good, often signaling trouble for whoever it was aimed at.

"Cloud," the girl stepped forward, her cute combat boots dragging along in the carpet, "Aerith and I want to go shopping. Take us please?"

"Why can't Leon take you?" he replied coolly, remaining in place as the girl stepped forward again.

Aerith smiled from the doorway leading into the Cloud's bedroom. Her clean pink dress made the wood she leaned against look dull. "Leon's busy at the moment," she paused for a second, "he said that he wanted someone to go with us at all times when we go out."

"Yeah, about that," the short haired girl pouted, crossing her arms and glaring at Cloud, "why do we have to do that anyway? We can stick up for ourselves; just because we're girls and we don't go around waving swords, doesn't mean we don't know how to defend ourselves."

Shrugging his shoulders, the blond replied, "Don't ask me; ask Leon." It seemed that since he had moved to Traverse Town, the girls were trying to get information out of him constantly about Leon. The truth was he didn't know much about the stoic man pouring over numerous books everyday.

Muttering, Yuffie pouted some more about the unfairness of it all.

"Come on, Cloud," Aerith started, pulling out her trump card: the guilt trip, "you never spend anytime with us at all. You're always off training."

Feeling trapped, the blond took a step back away from the two girls. Damn, Aerith just had to say that, didn't she?

"It's not like you have anything else better to do," she coaxed, Yuffie grinning at her side, "please spend some time with us?"

Not one to go without a fight, Cloud's gave a small protest, "I was going to go train." Wow, that sounded lame even to _his_ ears.

Yuffie knew Aerith had Cloud now when she said, "See, nothing better to do than to hang with us."

Together, both girls took an arm, told Leon they were going out, and Cloud resigned himself to his fate.

XXX

The market at Traverse town was small. A few shops lined the cobblestone streets, each one lucky to be able to stay in business for more than a year. Because Traverse Town being an essential stop between worlds, its occupants changed as well as fashion and culture.

Aerith and Yuffie tugged him all over, mostly just window shopping.

"Look at that one," Yuffie said, pointing to a small boutique situated between a pizza place and a shoe store. Her arm and Aerith's were still linked with Cloud's, keeping him from running off.

"Let's go in, then," she encouraged, causing the raven haired girl to laugh as they both dragged Cloud against his will into the store.

It smells like earth in here, Cloud thought, allowing Aerith to lead him over to a stand of jewelry; Yuffie was on the other side of the store, leaving Cloud to Aerith, looking at the display of scarves.

The flower girl pulled some beads from the rack and held them up to her neck, unlinking her arm from Cloud's to do so; the man started to turn to run away, _far _away.

He stopped, though, when Aerith asked as she looked him in the eye, "What do you think of these?" The white beads made her skin look even more tanned. "Oh, and don't forget: Leon doesn't want us out by ourselves…" she trailed off, reminding Cloud that he _could _leave and the reason why he _shouldn't _leave.

So close, though, to escaping! "They look nice," Cloud said, the tone of his voice flat, but his blue eyes conveying honesty to the statement.

"Really, you think so?" the girl brushed some of her brown hair back as she examined herself in the mirror near the stand. "You know," she said after a moment, "I think I'll get them." She smiled at him, going to the cashier, Cloud following behind her almost like a puppy follows its owner. He lacked the adoration that most canines have, though.

Bounding cheerfully up to them, Yuffie linked her right arm with Cloud's left one. "Look, see what I'm going to buy?" She showed him the scarf. Recently, the girl started to collect scarves; the sheer white one she held, partially fisted in her hand, would be the perfect addition to her collection.

"Aerith, what do you think?"

While handing over some munnie to the old woman behind the counter, Aerith looked over her shoulder to see Yuffie holding the scarf to her hair. The black of her hair and the white of the material contrasted greatly. "You look like you're wearing a wedding veil," she said, playfully adding, "With the way you are standing next to Cloud, it looks like you're getting married."

Yuffie nearly tripped when she and Cloud pushed each other away. Cloud was speechless; Yuffie wasn't.

"Eww," the raven haired girl's face pinched up in disgust, "Cloud's way too old for me. That's just yucky." Cloud didn't know what to say about the age part, but he nodded his head at the yucky part.

"Oh well," Aerith gave a little shrug, and accepted her change from the cashier. Her light pink boots clicked against the floor as she moved aside so Yuffie could pay for the scarf.

"You know," the woman said well naturedly, scanning the price tag, "you would make a lovely bride."

"You think?" Yuffie flushed a bright red, handing the woman a five munnie piece.

Rolling his eyes, Cloud moved to the door in an attempt to get out of the store faster. Aerith and Yuffie's attention was glued to the woman.

"I think so, too," Aerith contributed, nodding in agreement with the woman.

Handing back a munnie piece in change, the cashier pointed out the window to across the street. "There's a bridal shop over there. I don't know if girls do this anymore, but when I was younger, all my friends and I would love to go to bridal shops and tell them that one of us was getting married. It's great fun."

Giving a small gasp of excitement, Yuffie pawed Aerith's shirt, "Do you think we can do that?"

The brunette held her package close in thought, "Well, I guess we can say that you're getting married," the idea of trying on all the pretty dresses sounded appealing and Aerith was soon caught up in her friend's excitement, "okay, let's do it!"

"This is going to be so much fun!" Yuffie gushed to her friend, putting her change in her short's left pocket while grabbing her scarf with out bothering to get it wrapped.

Cloud wasn't sure what they girls were talking about with the woman since he was looking at the postcards now, but when Yuffie and Aerith linked arms with him and they breezed out of that shop, he knew that they were up to no good.

"Where are we going again?" he asked as the crossed the street. He could have sworn that he heard wrong. The girls were dragging him to a _bridal_ shop now?

Clutching on tighter to Cloud's lean arm incase the blond decided to bolt, Yuffie said again, "A bridal shop."

"What? Is this because of that woman?" he asked, wincing somewhat as Aerith's long fingernails and Yuffie's needlelike fingers with tomboyish nails dug into his bare arm. He should have worn his long sleeve turtle neck; the girls were making even more of an effort to keep him by their sides and it was hurting somewhat.

"Oh, it won't be that bad, Cloud," Aerith reassured him as they approached the shop's door.

Blue eyes could only stare in slight trepidation at the frosted glass of the door to the shop. Both girls reached forward to pull the door open, leaving Cloud to wonder why Leon established that rule of the girls not going out by themselves. This was going down on his extensive list of what to complain to Leon about; yes, it was going right on top of that list, next to his complaint about how his mattress offered no back support and how it was affecting his training.

Business must have been slow, for within seconds after entering two overly cheerful women had leapt up from chairs set around a card table to greet them. Cloud suspected they were playing Poker with all the chips spread around the table.

"Welcome. May I ask who the lucky girl is?" the tall redhead asked, her blonde friend scrutinizing first Aerith, then Yuffie, and then, surprisingly, Cloud.

Yuffie shyly looked down to the ground, "I'm the lucky one," she murmured.

"Oh, you're so cute! You're going to make a beautiful bride!" the blonde reassured her, "is he the groom?" she gestured towards Cloud.

The blond was starting to become offended now. Why was everyone pairing him with Yuffie?

Yuffie's head shot up. "Yuck, not with him," her face scrunched up in disgust. "But really, do you mean it about the beautiful bride part?" she asked a stranger for the second time that day, her face brightening.

"Why yes, yes of course," the redhead agreed, tugging Yuffie away from Aerith and Cloud so she could start to show her some gowns, "But first we have to find some lovely gowns to show off your beauty; what's your size, dear?"

"Uh, I'm a size four in pants?" the raven haired girl answered, somewhat confused. Was that right? "And a b-cup?" she added, wondering if that helped.

Aerith was getting even more excited; there were so many lovely gowns, each one beaded and designed with love for someone's special day!

Watching, somewhat scared for his sanity or what was left of it, Cloud walked over to the changing area and sat down in the nearest chair. When a saleslady tried to approach him, he nearly snarled at her causing her to abandon him to help Yuffie with her dress selection.

Fingering the material of one exquisitely beautiful dress, Aerith motioned for Yuffie to stop examining that ruffled monstrosity that would make her friend look like a marshmallow. "This one's really pretty, don't you think?" she questioned when Yuffie reached her.

"That is pretty!" the fabric was a champagne color, and there were beads sewn into the bodice. It was a strapless, and breathtaking, princess gown.

It was perfect. Aerith motioned the blonde woman over, "she wants to try on this one," she spoke since Yuffie was unable to. Her friend had stars in her eyes, distracting her from everything but the image of her in that gown. Now if only she was actually getting married…

The blonde took the gown, slinging it over a narrow shoulder, and walked towards the dressing rooms. Handing Yuffie a slip and bra for the gown, the woman left, telling the girls to call her if they needed any help.

That thing's a dress? Cloud watched Aerith and Yuffie wave at him before the entered the small room containing a giant amount of fabric and poof. Maybe now would be a good time to run?

Slipping off the green shorts and her boots, Yuffie shimmied into the slip. Oh, wow. This thing was tight! "Ugh, Aerith, help please!"

"Hold on," the called girl grabbed the zipper and pulled it up all the way, "there, how does that feel."

"Can't breath!" Taking shallow breaths, Yuffie thought about how this better be worth it.

Pressing her hand nervously to her mouth, Aerith worried on her bottom lip, "I'm sure it's just because you're not used to it; want me to get you a larger size?"

"Oh, hell no," slipping on the gown's bra, simultaneously while tugging her own off, Yuffie tried to hook the back of it up by herself.

Moving her friend's hands aside, Aerith did it for her. "Now, all you need is the dress!"

"That's the best part!" Grabbing the princess gown, Yuffie attempted to put it on herself.

"I think this is where we call that woman over to help," Aerith moved her hands to help Yuffie again.

"Nonsense; we can do it ourselves." Yuffie reasoned, taking small, delicate breaths.

When the dress fell on the raven haired girl's frame properly, Aerith's green eyes took in the perfect picture her friend made. "You look perfect!"

"Really, I do?" the wedding dress swished as Yuffie turned around to look at the mirror on the door. When she saw herself, her eyes began to water and her bottom lip quivered.

Aerith patted her on the back, "It's okay, Yuffie, you look gorgeous in that gown."

Yuffie's own hazel eyes, slightly misty from the tears, looked at her friend in bewilderment. "How can you say that?" she asked, her voice breaking up.

"Because it's true," really now, Aerith thought, she doesn't like the gown?

"My hips!" Yuffie wailed, "They're huge!"

What! "Oh, honey, you're hips are not huge in that dress."

"Yes, yes they are."

The door was knocked on, the redhead's voice asking if everything was alright. Yuffie's response was to poke at her hips, covered in small white beads, and cry about the unfairness of it all.

XXX

Cloud was beginning to become increasingly worried as another wail resounded from the booth Aerith and Yuffie were in. The saleswoman seemed to be making things worse, as every time she knocked, Yuffie would wail more.

Not being able to take it any longer, Cloud stood up from his chair to walk over to the dressing room. Pushing the saleswoman aside gently, he knocked on the door, "Are you two alright?"

"We're just fine! Yuffie's just…um, really excited."

"Well, I think she's starting to scare some customers away."

Inside the dressing room, Aerith cringed at Cloud's last statement. Leaving Yuffie to wail on the floor, the brunette opened the door just a crack to see if what Cloud said was true. Of course, the place didn't have many customers in it either when they first came in so it wasn't completely Yuffie's fault.

The redhead looked alarmed when Aerith asked her directly to give Yuffie a minute to calm down. Cloud looked slightly relieved; Yuffie could really hit those upper notes and it was hurting his ears now.

Before Aerith could go back into the dressing room, the redhead handed her a disposable camera, explaining, "If she likes the dress, take a picture so she can compare later how she looked after she's tried on other dresses. The camera is a gift from us."

Giving the redhead a smile, Aerith accepted the camera, "Thank you; I'll do that." Slipping back inside the booth, she showed Yuffie the camera.

The teenager broke out into another round of sobbing about how her hips were going to be documented on camera.

"Really, Yuffie, your hips look fine!"

"No, they don't!"

Shaking her head, Aerith was reminded of Cloud and that one time she was able to get him in a dress, "Oh, please, you should see Cloud's hips in a dress," she said, trying to make Yuffie quiet down.

It worked; choking slightly now, the words having a difficult time coming out, Yuffie asked, "Cloud was in a dress? When was this?"

"Here, if you don't like the dress, let's get you out of it," tugging up the dress, Aerith continued because a distracted Yuffie is a good Yuffie, "before I met everyone in Traverse Town, Cloud used to be my bodyguard. We went on a rescue mission to help a friend of his but he needed to go in undercover."

With an incredulous look on her face, Yuffie stood in the slip and the bra. "So you got him to go undercover as a girl? No way, Mr. Look-at-me-I-have-a-giant-sword-Strife dressed in drag?"

"Believe it," confirmed Aerith, starting to help unfasten the hooks.

A sly look crossed Yuffie's face as she turned her head slightly to see her friend better. "Hey, do you think we can get him into a wedding dress?"

Aerith stopped what she was doing, her hands and mouth twitching at the thought of Cloud in a frilly dress. "You know, we might be able too…" she trailed off, looking thoughtful. "And I think I know why Leon won't let us go out of the house alone."

Blinking in curiosity, Yuffie leaned forward as Aerith explained her theory.

XXX

When the girls exited that dressing room, both carrying identical looks of mischief, Cloud gave himself several mental slaps for not running when he had the chance.

"Cloud, do I have big hips?" Yuffie draped herself on the arm of his chair.

Not knowing what to say, the blond wisely kept his mouth shut.

Aerith mimicked Yuffie's position on the opposite side of Cloud, "Yuffie's concerned that she does, but I keep telling her she doesn't."

Cutting to the chase, the blond pressed closer to the back of his chair and asked, "What is it you two want?"

"Yuffie and I want you to try on the gown," the girl to his left stated calmly.

"No. Way. In. He-"

"Please?" both girls cut him off while giving him their best _I'll love you forever looks_

"Come on, Cloud. Just for a minute so I know my hips don't look big; we're practically the same size, well, except you are a bit taller than me but I wore heels with that dress!"

"No," Cloud repeated, waiting for the onslaught of arguments that were bound to follow the statement.

"Alright, fine." Yuffie backed away from the chair's armrest.

Cloud and Aerith looked at her. Yuffie never gave up when she had her heart set on something.

"We're…giving up?" the other girl asked.

"Yup," the raven haired girl answered, a little _too _cheerful. "We'll just go back to the house and tell Squall all about how Cloud left us alone all day."

While the blond haired, blue eyed boy looked on, not really believing what he was hearing, Aerith joined in too, "Yup, we'll just tell Leon about how you left us girls alone all day, even though we asked you nicely to come shopping with us…"

Looking between the two of them, Cloud wondered if it was worth it to actually cave into the girls; Dress or an angry Leon who won't listen to his complaints and get him a new mattress. That stupid mattress…Damn!

"You," he said finally after a few moments of silent debating about the mattress and dresses, pointed to Yuffie, "are a bad influence on Aerith."

"Who, me?" the raven haired girl asked innocently, knowing that she and Aerith won when Cloud stood up dejectedly.

"Yes, you." the blond replied as he was ushered into the dressing room by the two girls. The redhead and the blonde, who were back at the card table, looked at each other in confusion, not know what was going on

"So what do I have to do first?" he asked when the door was shut.

"You put on this," Yuffie held up the slip, "and then this," followed by the bra.

"I'm not wearing that," Cloud pointed to the bra.

"You're going to be trying on a dress…what more could you lose by putting on a bra?" the raven haired girl asked, amused by the demand.

Aerith stood and watched, the camera hidden in her dress' pocket.

Putting his foot down, Cloud declared, "No, or I'm not wearing the dress at all."

"You're no fun," Yuffie pouted, crossing her arms.

"I know, I know. Now turn around." Rolling his eyes, Cloud motioned for the girls to turn away.

Aerith turned, blushing slightly. Yuffie didn't quite get what he meant. "What are you talking about; Hello, what ever happened to us seeing you in the dress?" she flailed her arms in annoyance.

Frowning, Cloud stated, "It may be alright for you to see Aerith in her underwear, but I'm not about to let you see me in mine. Happy?" he snapped.

Oh, that made sense. Blushing hotly, Yuffie turned around and examined the wall. Oh, look! Some of the plaster was crumbling, how interesting!

Rustling sounds and mild curses filled the dressing room as Cloud tried to zip up the slip; it was impossible. Aerith nearly squee-d in excitement when Cloud told her, after several colorful curses about a mattress, that she could turn around and help him.

While Yuffie's protested about not getting to help, the zipper went up smoothly. Yuffie was told to keep facing away from Cloud as Aerith tossed the dress over his tan shoulders and arranged it properly on his figure.

Feeling nearly all his masculinity slip away from him, Cloud kept telling himself it was all for the mattress. When Aerith had done the same thing years ago, he had told himself it was all for Tifa, his childhood crush. At least this time he wasn't going to be hit on by a group of rowdy men.

Yuffie turned around before she was allowed, covering her mouth with both hands when she saw Cloud in the princess dress. This was priceless! Absolute gold! "You look fantastic, oh, and now that I see how that dress looks on you, my hips don't look that bad at all. That's a relief!" Grabbing him deftly by the shoulders, she spun him around a few times not to get a good look at the dress, but so Aerith was in a good position to snap pictures.

Cloud was facing away from the mirror; a girl at his right side and a girl at his left side. Yuffie pretended to sneeze several times, grinning into her hand each time she did so. The snaps of the camera were covered by the ruckus she made and Cloud was none the wiser.

With another spin around, Yuffie announced again that yes, her hips did look alright in the gown, thank goodness and that Cloud could take it off.

Slipping the camera subtly to Yuffie, Aerith helped Cloud pull off the gown while Yuffie silently excused herself from the dressing room to the pharmacy down the street. One-hour photo developing was an amazing idea and resource that was going to be taken advantage of.

After quickly changing into his normal wear, Cloud glared daggers at the saleswomen who tried to stop them from leaving the bridal shop by asking if he needed anything else.

"Now that wasn't too bad, right?" Aerith said gently, linking her arm loosely with his left one. "Want to go home now? Yuffie ran to go drop something off."

"I thought you were going to tell Leon that I left you alone, but now Yuffie goes off on her own?" he asked, confused.

"Oh, don't worry about it; I don't really think he's worried about where _Yuffie and I_ are." Aerith smiled, tugging Cloud with her in the direction of the house, package swinging slightly in her left hand. The boy was worn out from the day and a small amount of gentle pulling allowed the brunette hanging onto his arm to get the blond home and in his room in less than fifteen minutes, the sun just starting to set. Overall, the day had been a success, Aerith thought. Not only had she spent time with Cloud and relived a very entertaining memory, but Yuffie had a good time, and there were pictures too.

XXX

It was around eight, the streets outside bathed in darkness, when Yuffie walked into the house through the kitchen door with an orange envelope in hands. Leon and Aerith sat at the wooden butcher block counter, him with a book and she with a cup of tea.

Looking in surprise at Yuffie's arrival, Leon turned to Aerith. "I though you said she was in her room."

Aerith shrugged in innocence. Cloud was right, Yuffie was a bad influence.

Seeing that he wasn't going to get an answer from the flower girl, he turned to the female ninja, "What were you doing outside with out anyone with you?" looking behind her, a small scowl on his face, "Is Cloud with you, then?"

Leon recognized that look of mischief on Yuffie's face and turned to Aerith to ask what was going on; Aerith was sporting the same look but he was not going to be intimidated, "Does someone want to tell me what's going on?"

"Here you are Squally, and Cloud is in his room," Yuffie said sweetly as she handed Leon the envelope, her mischievous expression replaced with a look of utter innocence.

"It's Leon, how many times do I have to remind you not to call me that," he protested, taking the envelope from her but not opening it. "What is this anyway?"

Yuffie walked briskly to the kitchen's exit into the living room, Aerith getting up from her chair to join her with a floral tea cup in hand, "We figured out why you have that rule, _Leon_."

The man's slate blue eyes narrowed, "Which rule is that?"

Laughing, Aerith said, "The one where we're not allowed to go out unless someone, like Cloud, goes with us?"

"Because really, Squall, since there's really only two places Cloud can go, with us or here, you always know where he is since we always tell you when we're going out." Yuffie finished.

"I don't see how it's any of your business if I want to know where Cloud is." Leon defended, one hand flipping a few pages in his open book nervously while the other held the envelope.

"Isn't it a bit obsessive, don't you think, Aerith?" Yuffie turned to the girl.

Nodding her head, Aerith said back, "Yes. One would think it's nearly _why don't I drag this person off against his will so we can get married _obsessive."

"Incase you didn't know, Leon, Cloud's hips look fabulous in a wedding dress. The pictures never lie." On that note, the two girls ran to their rooms, leaving Leon in the kitchen with an orange envelope and a confused expression.

XXX

Incase anybody didn't get it: Leon set up that rule so he knows where Cloud is nearly all the time. He's either with the girls, or there at the house training. I apologize for the weirdness of this.


End file.
